06 October 2004

Running Scared from the Wrath of G-d

As John "Silky Pony" Edwards nayyyyys away on TV, I'm torn between being disturbed and laughing my socks off at the latest on The Drudge Report. Last week, the Bush-Cheney Re-election offices in Washington state were vandalized; computers were taken from the manager's office. Today, shots were fired into the Kentucky Bush-Cheney '04 headquarters, and now I hear that protestors ransacked the Bush-Cheney headquarters in Orlando.

You libs are really freaking out, aren't you?

To top it all off, public school officials are now going beserk. Last week a middle school English teacher in Monmouth Junction, NJ was fired after parents complained about her patriotic classroom display which contained a copy of the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution, and a picture of President Bush. Callers into the Laura Ingraham Show and the Sean Hannity Show have detailed their children's experiences in the classroom, among them:

- a high school biology teacher who, upon seeing a Bush bumper sticker on one of her student's folders, proceeded to jump up and down, scream, and point at the folder before dashing it out of the student's hands, throwing it on the floor, and jumping up and down on it. The next day, 10 of this student's fellow classmates showed up with pro-Bush gear. When the teacher ripped a pro-Bush sign off of a student's desk, the student said that the teacher was infringing on her right of free speech. The teacher finally conceeded that she'd just have to deal with the fact that there were Bush supporters in the classroom.

- a number of college professors who are telling their students that the draft will be reinstated if Bush is elected, and they'll all be forced into the Army after the end of their current semester.

- an elementary school student who was suspended after wearing a homemade t-shirt that expressed his fandom of the President, Sean Hannity, and Rush Limbaugh.

- a high school teacher in Texas who, when asked if they had listened to the first Presidential debate said, "why would I want to listen to Bush" spout his crap?

Wow, you libs are paranoid little suckers, aren't you? Freedom of speech is great when you're the one doing the talking, isn't it?

"Innocence doesn't utter outraged shreiks-- guilt does." -Whittaker Chambers

In the meantime, Mt. St. Helens has let off its greatest pile of steam and ash yet. In the infamous words of Brian Griffin, "G-D. IS. PISSED!" My mother, spiritual maven that she is, had a great point: remember those vicious and insane shark attacks during the Summer of 2001, that preceeded 9/11? As scripture states, G-d is known to give us warning signs in nature. I'd call four hurricanes within the span of a month and a volcano suddenly ready to blow its top a little more than a string of coincidences.... but really, the important thing is WWJKD.

Maybe he'd approach the UN and see if they could place multilateral sanctions against Mt. St. Helens, in between sucking dead snails with Jacques, that is.


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