Brokeback Mountain (In a way, it really is about sex.)

This time, I'm not just doing it for the ratings.

There's a classic, college-esque humor in studying a mainstream Hollywood film title and thinking of ways to turn it into the name of a porn film. In the premiere episode of Family Guy, Peter brings the film "Assablanca" to a stag party. One of the greatest faux pas a guy friend of mine made in high school was asking me if I'd see "Saving Ryan's Privates" while my mom was driving us to see a movie. (Needless to say, as all good moms wouldn't, mom did not find the humor in this fellow's joke, much to his chagrin.)

Sometimes, digging for these witty parodies can be a challenge. And sometimes Hollywood hands you the humor on a silver platter. Case in point: Bareback...er, I mean Brokeback Mountain, aka "Rump Rangers". So, what do you do when your one-liner titles have already been provided by the studios? You thank G-d for the idiocy that is celebrity. Mastercard would attest to it this way:

Movie Titles: A Chuckle
Critical Acclaim: A Laugh
Celebrity Commentary on the Morality (or Lack Thereof) of their pseudo-porn: Priceless

There are some things money can't buy; for everything else, there's celebrity soundbytes.

Heath Ledger angry at ban [via Drudge]

HOT Oscar tip Heath Ledger yesterday compared US bans on his gay cowboy film to racism.

Actually, as Dwight Schrute put it in the Diversity Day episode of The Office, "lots of cultures discriminate against gay people" so, really, wouldn't it be sexism, Heath?

"I heard a while ago that West Virginia was going to ban it. But that's a state that was lynching people only 25 years ago, so that's to be expected," Ledger said.

According to A Timeline of African-American History in West Virginia published on the official website of the West Virginia Division of Culture and History:

1931. On December 10, two African Americans accused of killing two white constables were forcibly removed from the Greenbrier County jail and lynched by a mob of white men. Following several convictions for the lynching, the West Virginia Supreme Court upheld a 1921 anti-lynching law drafted by Harry J. Capehart and T. G. Nutter. Source: Posey, The Negro Citizen of West Virginia, 78-80.

Wow. Sounds to me like Heath needs a few lessons in history and math.

Mr. Ledger then goes on to call the Mormons of Utah "immature" and argues, "If two people are loving . . . I think we should be more concerned if two people express anger in love, than love."

Does anyone in the house speak Australian? Is he trying to make a statement about spousal/partner abuse, or is he trying to say he wished Ang Lee would've included a few of their bullwhipping scenes in the final cut?

"If you're thinking ahead and about people's opinions or how the film's going to be judged later it will affect the decisions you make on camera," he said earlier.

Maybe the producers of Ledger's latest release Casanova should've thought a little ahead about people's opinions regarding Ledger. If they did, they would've thought twice before opting to release a film starring Ledger as a ladies' man one month after he portrays a frustrated, closeted homosexual married to the symbol of Casanova's key demographic-- a young woman.

While filming the love story with co-star Jake Gyllenhaal, Ledger was falling for on-screen wife Michelle Williams.

Sounds like an episode of Dr. Phil to me.

Thank you, Mr. Ledger, for taking it up a notch when it comes to Hollywood hilarity. The doctor will see you now.