12 February 2006

Where Our Fault Really Lies

Now, Iran feels the need to add "Mohammed Cartoons" to the list of things labeled "The Jews' Fault." As a Jew, I feel the need to clarify exactly what has and hasn't been our fault over the past 3,000 or so years.

NOT THE JEWS' FAULT
(the short list)

  1. The Holocaust
  2. Cartoons depicting Islam, Mohammed, et.al.
  3. The Crusades
  4. The Inquisition
  5. That bunt cake you tried to make in 1982 that collapsed in the oven
  6. Nuclear war
  7. The extinction of the dinosaurs
  8. Suicide bombers
  9. 9/11
  10. 3/11
  11. 7/11
  12. Slavery or the slave trade
  13. Disco
  14. The Irish Potato Famine
  15. The Black Plague
  16. The crap coming out of Hollywood
  17. The execution of Jesus Christ
  18. Global Warming
  19. Bill Clinton
  20. Vietnam
THE JEWS' FAULT
(an abbreviated list)
  1. The Torah
  2. The Messiah
  3. Monotheism
  4. Freedom
  5. Democracy
  6. Individualism
  7. The Theory of Relativity
  8. The concept of philanthropy
  9. The American film industry
  10. The Discovery of America
  11. Seinfeld
  12. Vaudeville
  13. The Revolutionary War
  14. The Civil Rights Movement
  15. Israel
  16. Kosher food
  17. Political Economy and the rule of free trade (David Ricardo)
  18. The character of Rebecca in Sir Walter Scott's Ivanhoe
  19. Solving the Y2K problem
  20. The Polio vaccine
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