L'Shana Tova!

In the Spirit of the New Year, I give you my list of the top ten reasons I love being Jewish:

1o. We completely piss people off, just by being who we're meant to be. Ha ha, Mahmoud Abbas-- kiss my kosher tuchus!
9. Any nation we live in freely, we bless. It's a gift that keeps on giving.
8. We don't have to be like everyone else.
7. The Israeli Army is the best in the world (and every single male soldier is gorgeous).
6. Ours is the first faith to require academic discipline and intellectual rigor. The attainment of wisdom is such a high priority that, along with being a central theme throughout, an entire book is devoted to it in the Tanak.
5. We are the chosen people, given the duty to be a light unto the nations. What an awesome job description.
4. The concept of freedom derives from our Torah that our G-d gave to us. Were it not for the Torah, the United States would not exist.
3. The Land of Israel is ours, all ours.
2. Ours is the only faith that allows us to have a personal relationship with G-d. We're talking one-on-one kibbitzing here with the Most High G-d not only being completely permissible, but encouraged by upper management!
1. We have a Messiah, and our faith in Him not only guarantees everlasting life, but victory in every situation. "If you fear Me and My armies, then you need fear nothing."

Happy 5766!