Chappy Chanukkah Charlie Brownowitz!

Forgive the complete lack of posts lately. What can I say? Life has been busy lately. If only I could make a career out of blogging...well, I could, but I'd need to become antiSemitic (or at least a good ol' fashioned self-hating Jew) to do it (*ahem* ArianaHuffington *ahem) Quite frankly, after the debacle that was the midterm elections, I haven't had much energy to post. There are plenty of other bloggers out there doing a better job of gatekeeping and ranting than I ever could. Besides, my message isn't going to change, so why should I bother to keep repeating it to a world with deaf ears? We are the smallest of minorities, we who know the difference-- I continue to seek ways to encourage and expand our numbers. Sometimes that means blogging, and sometimes that means remaining silent and waiting in trust for G-d to act.

In the meantime, however, I can pepper you with fun stories.

Has anyone else noticed a complete LACK of Hanukkah stuff in stores this season? Seriously, pre-9/11 you could pick up a dearth of Hanukkah merch pretty much anywhere. Since 9/11 the stock has dwindled to the point where, at most national retailers, nothing can be found. Last year, my gentile friend got extremely angry when a Wal*Mart employee informed her that they didn't sell menorahs. This year, we had a moment of ironic rejoicing when we found a mini-rack on the end of an aisle, stocked with a couple mini-menorahs, some dreidels, some gelt, and some Hanukkah-garland (dreidels and menorahs in glossy plastic). By mini-rack, I literally mean a cardboard shelving unit that hung on the side of the end of an aisle, about 6" wide and 18" high. If you didn't happen to look down on your way to the checkout, you would've missed it.

Today, my mother hit Linens n'Things, figuring she'd be able to pick up what she needed for our Menorah lighting party. (That's right, our gentile neighbors are coming over for a menorah lighting on the first night of Hanukkah. They're not only coming, they're actually looking forward to it! Baruch haShem for good neighbors!) Where was all the Hanukkah stuff? In the back. ALL THE WAY in the back of the store. My mother was so mad that she requested to speak to the Store Manager. She informed the manager that having a small display of Hanukkah merchandise hidden at the back of the store, far away from all of the overwhelming amounts of Christmas stuff displayed in the front, was both insulting and antiSemitic. The Store Manager was extremely apologetic and informed my mother that she has to display things according to corporate rules, and she would be sure to extend my mother's complaints to corporate.

Heh. Go mom.

Seriously, though, it's like Hanukkah doesn't even exist! I know it's not a High Holiday, and in Israel it's not even that big of a deal, but really-- what the heck? We listen to your crummy carols, we bear the smell of your cedar and pine, we view the world through red and green lenses for a month; the least you could do is stick a few menorahs and dreidels out there in between all your holly and mistletoe! What, does Larry David have to write a book titled "The War on Hanukkah"? Does Jackie Mason have to show up on Fox & Friends to talk about saying "Happy Hanukkah"? Does Joe Lieberman have to propose legislation allowing corporate retail employees to say "Happy Hanukkah" and schools to display large menorahs in their hallways? Is that what it's going to take for you to recognize that we're here, too?

Because I really don't want to be a goy about this.




Hanukkah
Chanukah
Christmas