Kol Tuv News & Views

Je ne seis whaaa?

YNet Reports that "France and the Lebanese army will take part in the multinational peacekeeping force expected to take position along the southern Lebanese border, it was revealed following a meeting between US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice and Prime Minister Ehud Olmert in Jerusalem." Can I make a vichy joke now? Pleeeeze?

Am Yisrael Chai!

Eretz Nehederet did a great sketch this weekend mocking Nasrallah. From what I've gathered, Eretz Nehederet (This Wonderful Country) is the Saturday Night Live of Israeli TV. For secular Israelis, the after-dinner hour on Friday night is spent watching this sketch-comedy show that debuted in the early 1970s (around the time TV broadcasting became a regular, full-time thing in Israel) and has continued through until today. My Hebrew is rusty and mostly religious, so I can't translate the dialogue, but the language wasn't a barrier in this instance. If anything, the sentiments expressed were pretty universal.

Yalla Ya Nasrallah, Your Mom's a...

Amos at Kishkushim has great commentary on the shooting at the Seattle JCC. Orthodox Anarchist also provides some thoughtworthy insight. I first commented on the story via Jewlicious and, while my comment could probably fall under the category "Zionist Agression" I frankly don't care. I'm angry. It takes a lot for a Jew to get angry, and it takes a lot of anger for a Jew to react, but when we finally reach our breaking point, you'd better watch out, because you deserve whatever retribution you're going to get. That's the benefit of being a moral people; the "slow to anger" trait gives us plenty of time to both judge our decisions and think of really nasty, harsh ways to beat our enemies to a pulp.

UN-likely, UN-necessary

Which brings me to the greatest observance I made over Shabbat: The world body is scared sh*tless of Israel at this moment. After two weeks of racking up frequent flyer miles, the best thing Condi can come up with is a bunch of Frenchies who will cut and run the minute a terrorist threatens their cheese supply?

A 72-hour ceasefire? That beats all. They really thought they'd get Israel to agree to stop bombing for 72 hours. I wonder, did the Nazis try to get Patton to stop advancing for 72 hours-- to take a minibreak for the sake of the humanitarian crisis in Berlin? HA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! "Yeah, I know this is war, but it's the weekend! Gah! Come on, let's drop the artillery rounds and go to the beach. It'll be there when we get back."

The only reason the world body even thought to suggest such a stupid thing is because they know the Islamic world is going to blow-- fast. We've already had a shooting in Seattle. What next? As long as Israel keeps killing terrorists (which they should) these western nations-- England, America, France, etc.-- know that their countries face being blown to pieces by Muslim fanatics who have been allowed to immigrate en masse, build up mosques and communities unchecked, earn citizenship, passports, concealed weapons permits (that's right, the guy in Seattle with a supposed "bipolar disorder" had a permit to carry CONCEALED), driving and pilots licenses out the wazoo, and train and arm themselves to the hilt, all in preparation for this one divine moment when their Sheik says it's time to wrap up those genitals and head for the virgin paradise in the sky.

"I suppose you know this isn't going to be pleasant for either of us, especially for you."

This should be nothing new to the blogosphere (or anyone with a brain) because we've been talking about these kinds of security and immigration issues for years. Well, guess what world? Now it's here. Now the battle is really in your own front yard, so you'd better take some lessons from Israel but quick and deal with it, before some Muslim nutcase with a gun and a grudge deals with you.

Rebuking the Bad Reports

You know, I'm getting really bored with declarations from every political pundit on the planet, whether they're on TV or on the Internet, proclaiming that Israel isn't winning and can't win this thing. Quite frankly, if you really pay attention to the numbers, the Israeli army is doing a fantastic job of beating the crap out of Hezbollah given their policy of using "limited" power/force. Quite frankly, the Israeli people are unified against the enemy; unity in the minyan-- do you understand how rarely that happens? Quite frankly, the Jewish community looks out for their own; Israelis in the south are opening their homes to refugees from the north, and diaspora Jews are raising millions of dollars in aid for the IDF and the people effected by the fighting. Quite frankly, we're hearing more calls for teshuva, prayer, the reciting of Tehillim, and the study of Torah now than ever before. And, above all, WE HAVE A G-D, THE ONLY G-D, ON OUR SIDE. And He's scaring the crap out of our enemies. IMRA reports:

Hizballah's television station Al-Manar launched an unusually
anti-Semitic attack on Israel [on Saturday], when a featured commentator
claimed that Jews were instructed to kill women and children.

"What does their Torah say: it says kill all men, women and children and
even animals," said the Hizballah commentator, Ghassan Matar, identified as
a former member of the Lebanese parliament.

"That is what their Israeli Zionist god, their racist god ['YHVH'] orders
them," sneered Matar, the gray-haired commentator, gesturing broadly with
his hands.

...Hizballah and its television station Al-Manar are well-known for extreme
messages and anti-Jewish themes including the broadcasting of programs
based on the "Protocols of the Elders of Zion"-a paradigmic anti-Semitic
tract first developed by the Russian Czars and then distributed by the
Soviets.

However, today's effusion seemed to be indicative of some of the tension
felt by Hizballah personnel in recent days-perhaps because of rising
casualties-which has produced more vitriolic attacks on Judaism, America ,
and "moderate" Arab states, as well as the usual assaults on "the Zionist
Enemy."

Read the whole thing.

Don't you see? Israel isn't losing! Israel isn't even winning. ISRAEL HAS ALREADY WON! Anything else is just propaganda. So, to parody Dr. Leary, turn off and tune out the media and drop in on HaShem, because He's the only one who really knows what's going on right now, and His report is always good for those who love Him. And don't forget how The Book ends...

**SPOILER ALERT -- JUMP DOWN!**

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WE WIN!!!!

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