21 January 2006

Saturday Morning Television

I have a theory about mainstream media news coverage on weekends: It doesn't exist. This is for a variety of reasons, including but not limited to:

Most people are off for the weekend, so they're either out of the house and away from their televisions, or they're watching television for entertainment, not information. Who wants to be bugged with the problems of the world on their day off?

Saturday is an off-day for the world's three biggest religions. Most Christian countries include it in their "weekend," it's Shabbos for the Jewish world, and it's the muslim holy day.

The usual weekday newscasters are off. Most viewers begin to associate with a particular way their news is delivered, and just don't like to change.

Most people function in that "weekend" mindset, so they reason that if they're off, everyone else is, too.

The people who do work during the weekend are mainly in service industries that don't allow for a lot of free time in front of the television anyway.

Jews run the media, so if it's Shabbos for us, it's Shabbos for television news.

That was me being sarcastic.

Us small-time bloggers (and quite a few of the bigger ones) are still reliant on the mainstream media for a lot of our commentary, which is unfortunate, especially on a weekend. I could write a diatribe on the whale floating up the Thames, but that would quickly turn into a series of one-liners that would inevitably anger some environmentalist and result in me getting slapped with a lawsuit for insensitivity. (That's why I prefer mocking terrorists. I'll take a nuclear fight with Bin Laden over a sissy fight with Algore any day of the week.) So, what does a blogger do when they're free on a Saturday morning?

They talk about television.

In this case, they talk about House. Ah, the witty, sarcastic repartee of House. I'd like to take this moment to declare that my love for House is, essentially, my love for Hugh Laurie. If all the other characters simultaneously imploded on screen, I would not care. (Okay, well, I like that guy who was in Swing Kids, so he can stay on.) I find the Residents' dialogue lame, their cookie-cutter personalities trite, and their presence useless. Their sole purpose in existing is to bow to House, which they do well. I don't fault the actors, really-- I fault the writers. Too few television writers know how to craft an ensemble cast of characters well. This is the fault of both the producers and those flouncy ponces who teach television writing in universities across the country. Writers are told to make one character round, fully fleshed out, and make the others as flat as mirrors, to reflect the rounded character's many dimensions. Bull. If The Office can do it, and the masterful Remember WENN can accomplish it, the writers of House can certainly round out the supporting cast. I'm not talking subplots, either-- I'm talking about making them more than filler with sexy remarks.

Image courtesy of MSNBC Media

I love you, Hugh Laurie. I've loved you since the days of BlackAdder and Jeeves & Wooster. You are a brilliant actor. If House consisted of you tap-dancing on stage for an hour, I would watch it.


My love for Hugh Laurie has taken me on a ride to the library, where I picked up a season of Jeeves & Wooster and the fourth series of BlackAdder for the watching.

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British Comedy
Hugh Laurie


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